Those were what an eye could ever see… in her…

The bravery that shined through her eyes and the strength that was detonated by her actions were nothing but an affirmation to what was distinguished… a survivor, she was…

Nevertheless…

Digging deeper…beyond that cover… into that place… where the unspoken is heard… where the naked truth is tortured by the echo of reprimand… where secrets have no characterization… where every wrap is uncovered…

She knew… She was cracked into million pieces…..

Hunted by a past she wants to erase… The shadow of what went before keeps whispering in her ears all the time… cracking the ground under each step she's tying to take forward…

 Although it is simple to forget that specific event, it is never easy to forget the impact of that one decision and the consequences that were resulted … It distorted her life once and for all… in every aspect of her life…And will keep going on the same rhythm…

She will live her life, knowing that it is impossible to turn back the time … to that precise moment, and change the turning point into another… She will live her life, knowing that things would've been different… not in a better way, or worse… But different...

She will keep going on… knowing that she will be hunted till eternity… not because she is the son of the devil … or an angel sent from God above… it's because she has taken a decision… not a destructive decision… or a harmless one… Only a decision…

She will wake up in every morning, knowing that the image which is seen by others is a big lie… and the remained cracks will never be put together… and if that miraculously had happened, the lines that once separated them will still exist… The cracks will never be whole again…  

* Again… It is something I felt to write down… not related to me as a person…

Faultlessness… excellence… precision… perfection…

As good as they may sound … for me all I can hear is:

Walking on the edge…Collapsing… falling down down… hitting the bottom…

It is so strange how people keep torturing themselves with perfection! I absolutely have no clue regarding the reasons behind it!!! I mean, why be perfect? Why lead a perfect life? Why be the perfect husband? Perfect daughter? Perfect friend? Perfect employee? Perfect mother? Really, why this obsession? Why be so serious regarding that?

It is so bizarre how people can actually take it to a level were they lie and actually believe it!!! For those whom actually are put in such a situation, I feel sorry for them…they are fooling the world… but I am sure when they put their heads on the pillows, they will be taken to another reality by the internal echo that is heard only by them…and this is a persecute …

I am not trying to sound like a happy-go-lucky human being, because I am not that careless… I do sometimes push myself so hard to get what I want, or at least try… But, I don’t think I have ever pushed myself to the extent were I lost what makes me ME…

From my point of view, you don’t have to pretend that you have it all while you don’t…nobody actually does, if we want to be accurate…  There is always this lost piece of the puzzle which can't be found or be completed… So, the case isn’t about the completed picture… It is how you train yourself on how you look at it… and how to accept the messing piece…

To make the long story short, I do believe is that we all can be perfect by being the best we can be… by being us… not by having everything settled between our joint hands…

I was doing OK… I was a zombie…a mechanical robot… I was a numbed being…I was a meaningless heartbeat… I was a soulless organism … I was something without what makes it that something…

I was doing just fine… Nothing to worry about… Nothing to feel… Nothing to heal…

I was empty… like a hollow, cracked jar…

Not a day came by and weighted something for me… Each day was just like the day before… and tomorrow was something that lost its meaning in my dictionary… tomorrow will be yesterday… and yesterday is something that is gone till eternity…

Despite all that…I was satisfied… I was in peace… neither volcanoes nor earthquakes tried to step near my brain… I was doing OK…

And so, I honestly have no clue of the reasons behind your trip to my deepest thoughts and wonders?

Why did you decide to materialize after all these years? Why you suddenly, and without any explanations, waked up the dead?

Why ?

What life? What dreams? I lost my track long time ago…

What do you want me to do? Declare my Rebellion?

Ok… But for what? For you?? For Illusion???

But, are you an illusion??? Are you a figment of my imagination???  Or are you out there, thinking why I came into sight as well???

Either this or that, you just added more bewilderment to the confusion I already have… And I am totally hallucinating right now because of you… and you'll never know that…

* This post is not based on a personal experience… it is just something I felt writing it down…