I remember how easy it was for me to write a year ago, it was something like waking up in the morning or having a cup of coffee… but now writing for me is just like trying to learn a new language or go to a place you have never been before…

I keep wondering all day long, where is that fire that used to motivate me?

I used to write a lot, and now I can't pass a sentence…

I really don’t know why, but maybe because I –as a human being- changed dramatically in the past year, I won't say that I have been through a lot and all that garbage. All I know is that the consequences of some of my decisions changed many many many things in me, in ways I could've never imagined or even wanted. My thoughts and my way of seeing and analyzing the issues around me have also changed. I am a "brand new" me… And it's just so hard for me to put the new person in me down on papers. I just can't and don’t want to admit that I feel less in love with everything around me, nature, family, friends, work and anything I have interest in… I am not depressed or sad or anything… I'm just facing the reality which says that Neverland will never be the same Neverland whom has left the blogosphere a year ago… no matter how hard I try…

But all I can say is that, I do hope from the bottom of my heart that I am not loosing the passion and the ability of writing … I hope that it isn't also gone with the other things that I let go…

She washed away sleepiness and headed to her window… It was sunrise… her favorite view…

She sat on the edge of her favorite place, laid her head and watched her best minutes in the morning occurring right there in front of her eyes… for her, there was nothing in the world more enjoyable than witnessing how the golden strings of the sun making their way into the scattered clouds and blushing the sky with millions of heavenly colors…

She kept watching till she lost all her senses that connect her with the world she's living in… and melted within the beauty of what was uniquely created… She started feeling it … she's actually a part of it… It was overwhelming how relief was flourishing from everything…and so, the need of seeing all that was meaningless at that moment… Slowly, she started closing her eyes, and empowered her ears to pick up the melodies sang by the trees and the lawn when a cool gentle wind decided to pass by… She almost felt the breeze kissing every hair in her head and taking her to another time and space…

He approached to her… and started watching the sunrise with her… his favorite view… he closed his eyes and stepped closer, smelling her hair and folding his arms around her… she laid her head on his chest…

It was their moment… their view… their life together… it was them… and only them… and nothing else mattered… they were united by their hearts and souls, and nothing in the world will tear them apart…

In his unique way, he let her know that too, and that was enough to send a smile to her face and move her hands to hold his, and scarily couldn’t find his arm around her anymore!... She turned around thinking of the worst…Now… She's awake and back to reality and to the wooden spot which she laid her head on… turned around again… and then stood still for a second absorbing the whole situation…She's awake… and she realized that she will spend the rest of her life hunted by the phantom of his presence…

She turned around again… looking at the sun shining… it's only a view… nothing so special about it…since the reason behind the beauty of the sunset, the breeze, and the songs was gone… vanquished… and will never be back… Now…  Non of that all makes sense… Nothing has a meaning anymore… now… she's numb… but unfortunately awake…

She closed the window, dragged herself to her bed, laid down with her head facing a painting of the sunset placed on her favorite corner … and burst into tears... 

People tend to think that with time you will be able to wake up every morning, head to work or school and share a laugh or two… People tend to think that with time your heart might beat again… and it might… but…. There is nothing called healing if we want to be precise…

Does time have a specific formula which fabricates what was broken or raises a phoenix from the ashes, or washes away the disappointments and the unfaithfulness???…

Does time turn a lie into truth? Or change betrayals into honesty?...

Then… how come it is a healer???

There is nothing called healing… time only freezes the volcano concealed inside that shouts for salivation… 

Time only numbs a feeling… but never take it away…

You think you have found your way and moved on… but… you are just ignoring the holes you left behind and you are just not looking back…

You think you mastered your annihilation techniques… but there is always this one moment that can take you back to that specific point of time where you lived all you fears and force you to relive them over and over again…

You think that you are ok… but the thing is… your soul was changed in the process… you aren’t the same human being that you used to be in that different time and place… So… yes you are ok… but you aren’t "you" anymore…

There will always be something that will hunt you down… whether you cared about it or ignored it or even pretended that you are way to far from being hunted by unforgettable past… deep inside, it will still know how to get you…